<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>letting us go by taylorstwice</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679837">letting us go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylorstwice/pseuds/taylorstwice'>taylorstwice</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>looking with ocean eyes (prequel : the background stories of what was once there) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ITZY (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, But good ending i guess, F/F, Pain, Ryuryeong angst, Ryuryeong pain, first installment of the prequels for looking with ocean eyes, itzy - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:55:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679837</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylorstwice/pseuds/taylorstwice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>chaeryeong plays that sad song as she deletes their memories, but ryujin gets her to stop.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Chaeryeong/Shin Ryujin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>looking with ocean eyes (prequel : the background stories of what was once there) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2195691</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>letting us go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything in Chaeryeong’s house was...dark, when Yuri had decided to come over and visit the brunette woman. For a moment, the hamster thought the taxi driver dropped her off at the wrong house the second she slipped out of the vehicle because the house was not recognizable when it was all blacked out.</p><p>As Yuri stared more at it, she slowly tried to calm herself and told herself that the house was not a haunted one but was her friend's.</p><p>Afraid to ring the doorbell now, Yuri took her phone out and dialed a number.</p><p>
  <strong>"Hello?"</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>"Yuri-ah? What's up? Why did you call?"</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>"Are you with Chaeryeong right now?"</strong>
</p><p><strong>"Uh no, I am not. I am home. Why?"</strong> Yuri took a step back and stood by the sidewalk, staring at the lackness of light in the house. She felt her heart beating fast out of nowhere.</p><p><strong>"I am outside her house right now and,"</strong> Yuri said a very faint light coming from the right window on the second floor. <strong>"wait, Ryu, where is Chaeryeong's room located?"</strong></p><p>Ryujin, the person she has been talking to this whole time, stayed quiet for a long time. <strong>"Ryu? Are you still there?" </strong></p><p><strong>"Yuri-ah."</strong> Ryujin's voice sounded so...robotic.</p><p>
  <strong>"Are all of her lights turned off?"</strong>
</p><p>Yuri almost got surprised with how Ryujin knew about what she was seeing, but backtracking into memories, Ryujin knew Chaeryeong more than her. She is her girlfriend anyway. <strong>"Yeah, all of them."</strong></p><p>Yuri squinted to see if that faint light was still there. <strong>"But I can see a faint light coming from the right window on the second floor. Do you think I should go and check?”</strong></p><p>
  <strong>“Yuri, I think it is best if you go home for now.”</strong>
</p><p>Sometimes Ryujin wonders if continuing was a good thing.</p><p>Sitting on the edge of her bed, Ryujin stared at her phone, Chaeryeong's nickname blaring right before her eyes, her heart beating as fast as every time she feels whenever the brunette appears before her.</p><p>Kind of ironic that it now brings fear to her rather than happiness.</p><p>She sighed deeply as she continued to stare at her phone.</p><p>It was not her first time to hear that Chaeryeong had her lights all turned out.</p><p>Actually, she had been in Yuri’s shoes before.</p><p>She had seen and experienced first-hand what happens when Chaeryeong goes into this kind of…situation, way back when Chaeryeong had to make a decision whether to come with her mom or continue living with her dad after her parents had gotten a divorce.</p><p>Chaeryeong had skipped school for a week and Ryujin had found her locked in her room, staring at her phone with nothing registered in her eyes, her phone only containing a picture of their family.</p><p>It was a scene Ryujin never want Chaeryeong to go through again as the sight was too painful to see.</p><p>If it was painful for her to see, what more of Chaeryeong who is going through it?</p><p>It is something Chaeryeong does when she is thinking about something too…serious or when she is thinking about doing something serious.</p><p>And thinking about their current situation, Ryujin fears that Chaeryeong might be doing this…with their relationship in her mind.</p><p>Chaeryeong and her had been…in quite a lot of fights these past few weeks, and had never seen each other after their last fight.</p><p>Ryujin abhors the situation she is in right now, with Chaeryeong. One could say that she is overreacting, but she knows she is not. Not when one of them can see the end of the road while the other acts like she does not.</p><p>It made Ryujin tremble when she recalled what were their last words for each other, her hold on her phone getting tighter and tighter as every second pass.</p><p>
  <em><strong>“Then let us just waste all of those memories we have together if we are going to just throw this away!”</strong> It all rang in Ryujin’s ears when those words had been said and she had processed the anger in Chaeryeong’s eyes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>“How fast are you to think that?? All of those memories, those joy, those laughs, THAT happiness, you are going to throw all of that just because we are falling apart now?”</strong> The older between the two watched as the other stepped back, pushed back her hair and stared at her like she did not understand anything that she said.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>“Because that is where it all starts, right? It all starts with the falling out, then before you know it, you are falling out of love. Let us just save ourselves from the pain and end this.”</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em><strong>“Is that what you want?”</strong> Ryujin asked with all of the left strength she had in her.</em>
</p><p>But she was never answered.</p><p>Ryujin can never see the reason why Chaeryeong had thought that.</p><p>That it all falls out when one thing does not align.</p><p>That it is all over once you have entered the pit of misunderstanding and petty fights.</p><p>She can never see it.</p><p>That is why she is still holding onto the hope that maybe, maybe she will pull through.</p><p>That THEY can pull through whatever it was that they are dealing with.</p><p>But as every second passed, and no news from Chaeryeong came, Ryujin felt the hope slinking out of her.</p><p><strong>“Is this really our end?”</strong>  Ryujin could not help but send it to her, her tears on the brink of falling.</p><p>The thought of losing Chaeryeong hit her and the first tear fell.</p><p>The images of living without Chaeryeong, those black and white scenes playing in the back of her head like it is something cut out from a movie, it scared Ryujin so much that she felt all of her hair on her skin stand to the point that she looked like she was electrocuted.</p><p>It was terrifying.</p><p>It was lifeless, it was colorless, it was drained out of anything Chaeryeong had brought when she weaseled her way in Ryujin’s life.</p><p>And the way it played out in Ryujin’s mind.</p><p>She cannot have it.</p><p>Ryujin got up from being seated and ran all the way downstairs, out of the door and to her bike, tears streaming down and falling off of her chin and with the wind, her using all the strength she had with her legs as she pedaled away towards the house where the love of her life is currently residing in.</p><p>She threw the bike on the yard as she ran towards the door, using her spare key that the brunette had given her years before after she moved out of her father’s house, and she ran around the place as a faint sound of a song played and echoed all over the house.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>“I’m letting go.”</strong> </em>
</p><p>Ryujin hated those words.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>“I’m letting go.”</strong> </em>
</p><p>Ryujin found nothing on the first floor.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>“ever so slowly.”</strong> </em>
</p><p>Ryujin pushed the image of Chaeryeong’s slipping out of her hold out of her mind.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>“I guess it’s the end of,”</strong> </em>
</p><p><strong>“Chaeryeong?”</strong> Ryujin pushed the door with all the strength she had, startling a red-eyed Chaeryeong that has been sitting for how long on the floor, one had holding her phone while the other on her chest.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>“the road.”</strong> </em>
</p><p>The look on Chaeryeong’s face changed when she realized it was Ryujin, and she scooted away from the woman, schooling her expression into one that is cold, the one that Ryujin hated the most.</p><p>
  <strong>“Ryujin? Why are you here?”</strong>
</p><p>Ryujin sprinted towards where Chaeryeong sat and kneeled in front of the woman she only loved her entire life, and her eyes shined with all the feelings she can show, and she sobbed as she gripped and held onto Chaeryeong’s frail arms.</p><p>With her hoarse voice, Ryujin pulled through the words she had wanted to say ever since they started fighting. <strong>“Chaeryeong, baby, please do not give up on us.”</strong></p><p>Chaeryeong avoided looking at Ryujin’s eyes as she knew that if she did, the tears will spill once again, and honestly, she was so tired of crying. <strong>“Ryujin, there is no use, it is not going to work out even if we knew each oth---”</strong></p><p><strong>“Chaeryeong-ah,”</strong> Ryujin hated how her voiced had cracked and sounded so weak, but she cannot turn this back. </p><p>She finally found the reason why. <strong>“believe me when I say that, we, are never going to end up like your mom and dad, okay?”</strong></p><p>That was when the waterworks pulled out.</p><p>Chaeryeong burst into tears and stopped resisting her need to hug the pink-haired woman, hugging her closer, tighter, holding onto her like it was her last time.</p><p><strong>“I am so sorry that I was too slow to see it.”</strong> Ryujin continued talking as Chaeryeong sobbed in her arms, her body racking up and it felt so painful for Ryujin even though she was not the one feeling the pain.</p><p>It was true that it definitely feels painful seeing the ones you love being in pain.</p><p>How long Chaeryeong had been holding this one, Ryujin does not know.</p><p><strong>“All this time you have been so scared of how we will turn out because you saw how the world of your parents had span and exploded right before your very eyes.”</strong> Chaeryeong sobbed harder as she remembered the screaming and the noises of shattered things, and it horrified her more when it turned from her parents into them.</p><p>Her and Ryujin.</p><p><strong>“I am sorry that I did not get to see how we started to look like them, how the petty arguments and misunderstandings about useless things started to play out and you realized that that was how it started with your parents.”</strong> Ryujin pulled Chaeryeong away and held her cheeks, breaking much more when she saw how weak and vulnerable the woman looked right now before her eyes, and she wished with all of her might if she can take it away.</p><p>Like she said, it was the most painful sight of Chaeryeong.</p><p><strong>“I will never let us be like them, okay? I love you so much to let you go.”</strong> Chaeryeong hid herself again in the arms of the woman she loves, nodding her head as she convinced herself that it was all over. Her worst fear will never happen.</p><p>She will never become like her dad who cried and suffered after realizing how painful it was to lose the person he had been with his whole life.</p><p><strong>“Marry me.”</strong> Ryujin blurted out.</p><p><strong>“I have been thinking of how to prove to you how I will never be like your dad. Or your mom.”</strong> Ryujin pulled out a box from her coat’s pocket and she offered it to the woman she swore she will love for the rest of her life. <strong>“This is the only way I know.”</strong></p><p><strong>“Marry me Chaeryeong.”</strong> The pure love in Ryujin’s eyes nearly convinced the brunette but her fear whispered sweet painful words in her ears. <strong>“I cannot promise that we will not fight, and we will not argue, but I can promise you that we will never, be apart, okay? I will never let that happen. I will fix everything, I will always be with you, Lee Chaeryeong, you are my life.”</strong></p><p>A nod was done in the middle of the night, in the middle of a dark room, a sweet reconciling kiss shared between two people lighted up their lives.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>